So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
