used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
