So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
