after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
