just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize