i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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