Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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