be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
