Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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