What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
