i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
