Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
