respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
