I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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