Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We need to rekindle our bromance
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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