Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
