this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
