How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
