His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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