ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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