you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
