dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
