I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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