And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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