We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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