You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
