I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
