I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
