Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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