you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize