Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
