I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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