I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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