I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
