u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
