dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
