this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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