i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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