so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
