It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
