Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
