There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
