You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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