"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is this like a preordered booty call?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
