did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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