Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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