Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
