I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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