i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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