Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
soo... how was my night?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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