Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude i'm inner monologue high
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize