Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
