what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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