I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize