That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
