Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize