You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
