If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
