Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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