I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
