maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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