ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
