U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
