My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
