You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
