Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
