I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
