i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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