You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize