i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
