officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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